You will often hear people say that your marriage is your number one ministry or that your marriage should be a ministry. So how do you balance both, how do you manage your calling to serve as a leader in the body of Christ and yet be an effective wife or husband, mother or father? I have been doing this for almost 5 years now and these are some of my thoughts.

1.  You were called before your spouse came -(in most cases) I had a calling before my husband came, marriage has made my calling easier and has enhanced my assignment. Early, we decided that my husband would  focus on building our family financially.  The first 3 years of marriage, while I traveled the nation teaching and preaching,  he would come when he  could,  but our priority was to stabilizing our young family.Both of what we were doing was kingdom work and it was holy unto the lord.  He enhanced my call by allowing me to continue what God had called me to do while he sacrificed. He too was called at that point, but knew we had to work together to make sure both what God had called us to do was manifesting. We both now pastor together, he helps oversee my business and he works full time in a field which is pushing him towards his life dreams.
2. When your marriage is healthy, your family is healthy and your ministry is healthy-Frustrations in marriage will often show up in ministry, do not be afraid to step down and minister to your spouse and take care of your marriage. Ministry will always be there, but your marriage may not be. When your marriage is healthy, your children will be healthy and what you do as a team will be much easier as you walk in agreement.
3. All is Holy Unto the Lord- My ministry is not just how well I teach or preach but how well I love my mate. My ministry is how well we love our children, and it is how well we manage our finances and care for those who need us. Ministry is not just what happens on the road or on Sunday morning  it is how God is glorified in everything we do. Can people see God through your marriage? Is Jesus Glorified because you and your spouse are together?

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4. You are Your Spouse’s Advocate and Cheerleader– This is your other half,  if ever you begin to follow the lead of others and not your partner it will cause a rift in your marriage. It is your responsibility to fight for your spouse even if they are not in “traditional” ministry. Celebrate them and encourage them to be themselves. Never put other people’s opinions of how you should do ministry or life without considering your spouse.
5. Our ministries Do Not Have to be the Same-  I have learned that our differences even in our walk with God is what makes us a great couple. Your spouse’s walk does not need to look like yours for you to learn from them. My husband is always teaching me. Always be willing to learn from your spouse.
6. Discern Seasons- There will be seasons to raise babies which means less ministry time sometimes. There may be seasons to work on the marriage; there may be seasons to build the kingdom; there may be seasons to get your finances together. Whatever you do, make sure that you always do it together. Let everyone find their part and work together, make no room for the enemy. Realize that seasons are just what they are, seasons. You will not always be there. Push through together and go from there.  Always walk in agreement and it will be well.
7. Have One Vision-  The number one thing the enemy is after in your life is your agreement. He does not want you to walk in oneness so create a vision for your marriage and assess it early. Make short term goals and long term goals, this helps both of you keep in mind what is important. Make sure the goals and visions cover you guys emotionally, financially and spiritually.