We all know what a counterfeit dollar is right? It looks like real money but upon examination we find out it is not. According to the United States Department of Treasury , an estimated 70 million counterfeit dollars are believed to be in circulation, or there is approximately one counterfeit note for every 10,000 in genuine currency (Wikipedia 2014).
One of the most frequently asked questions I get is “How will I be able to identify the counterfeit person in my dating relationships?”
Several years of working with individuals who ended up with counterfeits relationships has helped me learn certain clues that one can identify to determine the authenticity of the person you are with.
- What does the real thing look like?
When you are waiting for a mate, have an idea of at least five core values, that you are not willing to compromise with. Values like “She loves God, he is hard working, he must be truthful, she is kind etc.).
Identify those “certain must have’s” that are meaningful. When people come into your path that are missing those core values they may not be the real thing. We all know the color, texture, quality of real money. Likewise the more time you spend in God’s face learning what the real thing looks like the easier it will be to identify the counterfeit.
- What is their value?
Real money has real value and it adds value to your bank account. Counterfeit money may look like it will add value, but when closely examined you begin to see that it actually depreciates your worth. This is the same with people.
Look at what they bring into your relationship and ask yourself if they bring you closer to God and make you a better person. If all they bring is chaos, drama, confusion, or heartache, they are probably not the real thing.
“The blessing of the lord maketh you rich and add no sorrow” (Proverbs 10:22).
Relationships are not perfect but they should always bring you joy even in the hard moments.
- Can they withstand the light?
What do I mean by this? When your parents, friends, mentors, and leaders inspect this person, what do they have to say about him or her? Seek wise council. There is protection in a multitude of counselors.
Heed the voice of those who care about you! What do others see when they take a close look at the person? Counterfeit money is put under a light to examine its real contents. Have the people in your life you trust examine the content by shining a light on the person you are interested in.
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- Are they consistent?
Counterfeit dollars crumble in the wash. How does the person you are interested in handle stress, difficult times, and misunderstandings?
Their ability to act in a certain way consistently throughout different scenarios is a huge indicator they are who they say they are.
As Maya Angelo said, “When someone shows you who they are believe them.” People will give you clues to their character by how they handle certain situations.
5 . When did they come into your life?
Timing is key with counterfeit people. They will come into your life either when you are most desperate, or most focused. Examine the time they showed up. Was it a season God had called you to walk closer to him, or you felt you should focus on a particular area?
Did their coming help you focus or distract you? Has their presence in your life been an added benefit or a distraction?
- Are you compromising in any way?
Counterfeit people like to get something out of your life without exchanging it for its true value. People use counterfeit money which has no value usually to ascertain something that is valuable.
If you find yourself giving up something valuable without a level of mutual compensation, commitment, or covenant, you might be dealing with a counterfeit! If there are certain standards, especially Godly morals, that you are relinquishing for this person they may be a counterfeit.
- Are you experiencing confusion?
As believers our lives are governed by the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit always brings peace. If you are experiencing confusion, torment, or a lack of peace, it is most likely a clue from the Holy Spirit that either the situation is not right, or you have some internal things that you need to work on. Either way take it slow.
There are many signs and signals one can look for, but the most important thing you can do is learn to hear God’s voice because His Spirit will always lead us into all truth if we heed it. God bless you guys! May God bring the perfect mate for you!
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